this is my domain.

where i say what i mean and what i feel.

i am a 27 y/o mother/wife/friend/student/activist

i’m very loud and proud about my beliefs.

i love food.

i’m learning Cantonese….slowly but surely.

my kids are tri-lingual (English, Cantonese, Mandarin) ; which is a bit odd when i can’t follow the 3rd language.

2 words: atheist.liberal.

i’m Studying to major in philosophy and religious studies.

i was also born with a heart defect (vsd -ventricular septal defect) and then later developed a chronic neurological disorder (chronic neuralgia) once i became a teenager. 

i am now in stage II/III chf (congestive heart failure) due to the birth of my children. 

both of these things have greatly shaped the way that i look at the world around me. 

since i was 23 days old until now i have had 10 different surgeries somewhat cardiac related. I will admit that the second to last surgery that i had was simply to get my tubes tied. But, that was again due to slow down the breakdown of my cardiovascular system.

i look like a damned Frankenstein child! I’ve got  one long Septal scar down the middle of my chest (from ohs). a diagonal one underneath each of my shoulder blades on my chest (from my pacemaker). 3 smaller circular scars on my right side of my chest (from my home IV). one that goes from my left side all the way up and around my shoulder blade on my back (from another ohs). as well as loads of random cut-down scars up and down my arms and legs. Hence; the term Frankenstein child. 

sometimes i may bitch and whine about my body and how it sometimes feels like it is failing me. I have not lost touch with reality; nor am i depressed per-se. It’s just a way of how i deal with the frustration and limitations that i have to deal with occasionally.

i want to write a ‘survivor story’ but, i’m really not that articulate at times. Perhaps i’ll be able to come back at a different time to do something like that. I know that it would be quite therapeutic for myself. Probably help me get rid of this angst and self ‘hate’ i have from time to time.